We had fun. We had joy. We had seasons in the sun.

But the time has come for me to leave and start afresh somewhere new.

I'll be at http://gartgrowls.blogspot.com and I hope you'd come to visit too.

Ciao!

Last weekend, I wrote about the bride's side berinai, akad nikah and the real kenduri. And Saturday, it was the bridegroom's turn.

We are a big family. My mother is the eldest and has 8 other brothers and sisters who among themselves have many sons and daughters. The 4th generation (cucu to my Tok) aged between 10 and 30 days old and there are alone, 17 in number I cannot remember the exact count of US all, but I think 63 about sums up us.

Anyways.

Weddings have always been a family affair to us. We have many, many meetings prior to any weddings and it is a real fun to have, with minutes, mind you! We have t-shirts printed out for the wedding and vests too. We are a closeknit family. So, I arrived very early on Saturday to a buzzing house at Taman Rashidah Utama, Seremban.

The 8 large tents were all set up. The caterers' busy cooking. The aunts and uncles were making special gulai daging with batang pisang and gulai kuning daging salai. The kids were running around the pond in the huge yard. Breakfast was served in the side of the house. The house was recently renovated and it's mega big now. There are 5 fans alone in the kitchen! Aku sungguh jeles dengan rumah ini.

Tasks :
Me - VVIP usherette and get lollipops for kid's gifts.
MrGart - VVIP usherer
Aliya - bunga manggar carrier (the other one was carried by Nor, her same-age cousin)
Ayisha & Adani - official flower girls. There were 6, but 1 refused to wear the dress and the other one was Nobita's 1 yo Arissa.
Ariz - stay of out mischief, ALL mishief thinkable.

Rehearsals were carried out to the delight of the aunts and uncles for the flowergirls. They were all decked out in burnished brown, gold dresses (thanks to me!) with ribbon-y headbands, crafted by my cousin Anis. My Mak Tam took the trouble to out make-up on these girls, a bit too red and tacky. So, after the girls ate their lunch, dengan mulut yang termuncung-muncung, I wiped the merah kampung lipstick off and put on pink lipgoss instead. Now, they look girl-ish pretty.

So, when the guests started arriving, things fell into place. I ushered the Datuks and Datins to the VVIP's area and at the beck and call of my Mak Ndak, the hostess. Tiring! Very very tiring.

The flowergirls did great, even if they had to berarak jauh la jugak. They smiled and sat prettily next to the pengantins on the dais. The silat was uhmm rather ganas. Apparently, they were real SEA Games athletes, my MSN uncle had engaged. Foooohh! It's almost demonstrative, but they sure tumbled and kicked ferociously to the delight of the VERY interested little boys, already imagining their ultraman and ben10 fights with aliens!

Anyways.

Ramainya la manusia. By 4pm, when it was all over, all of us, the younger ones were sitting at one table, lollipop tasting session when suddenly, a man walked up to us with a salam. Hmm he looked familiar. Yikes! The MB of NS was there himself. Cit! Terkulat-kulat we all, even with lollipops in our mouths. Earlier we had the was-tobe-MB-Kelantan-but-denied puffing cerut in front of my wheelchair-ridden grandma, nonchalantly. And we had an ADUN from a alternative party there too with some political reports thrown in for good measure. Aku dengar je la.

Ah well. All in well, it went well. We went home around 11pm with heavyy eyes, full stomachs and great great day.

Selamat Pengantin Baru, Azfar.

p/s sorry no piccies, I din't have my camera on me. Ye la, sebuk dok suruk tuan/puan, datuk/datan, pakcik/makcik masuk makan. Once I get some from my cousins, I'll try to post them here.



I've been tasked to

Yippee!

Just got a message that my GRADUATION ceremony will be held on October 26th, 2008.

Finally.

This feels different.

My parents never attended my graduation, although during my degree graduation in Manchester, my Abah was actually about 3 hours away in Wolverhampton, but he could not get away from his meeting at that time to attend it. I was devastated, but redha ajer la.

So, this time around. Both my parents could actually see me walk that aisle, eh, walk across the stage, I mean. They'd be so proud. It's like a great, great accomplishment for them. I need this for them, actually.

Well, October isn't that far ahead. Hmm what should I wear?

Aliya is in Persatuan Tunas Puteri for her co-curicullum activities. It's every Wednesdays like today. The school made her put down three options and slotted pupils in where the school deems fit. Beats me why! I thought that if one has great interest in something, one should be given the chance to explore that. Nope. Not in our schools.

Anyways.

Week 3. She came home or rather I had to pick her up from school after her 4:00pm - 6:00pm Tunas Puteri, proudly announced that they learned how to .. *drum rolls* BRAID their hair. Okay! *brows slightly frowned*

Week 8. The night before Aliya was gathering teaspoons from the kitchen to bring to her Tunas Puteri meeting and guess what they did. Teatime!

Hmmm.

I'm slightly disturbed here. I was in Pengakap i.e. Scouts during my primary years and I went camping, tied knots and cooked mentah rice on fire. And not to mention, learn how to generally survive in the wild. Not that I'd have the slightest chance of surviving it, anyways. But I digress.

Tunas Puteri isn't cheap either. We had to buy the uniform with its many woven stickers and buttons and stuff and all they learn was how to make tea and make braids. Dang! I think they should learn to self-defense or fox jumping or obstacle training or even sing such motivational songs.

Ah well.

"Mummy ?"

"Yes dear?" *berlakon je tu, sebenarnya "apa dia Dani, Mummy nak tengok Desperate Housewives ni"

"My name is ADANI-S"

"What? Your name is ADANI."

"No! My name is ADANI-S."

"Ehmmm. Your name is A-D-A-N-I, ADANI"

"Bukanla Mummy. My name is ADANI-S, macam BALKI-S"

"oooooooooooooooo"

Hmppph!

Been kinda busy lately.

Work's been usual. After the crazy, mind-numbing 2 months of the tulip-project, I know I can take on anything. Heh! Give me anything. So, right now, work's been on its normal pace, though rather slow. I'm manging people now, I tell myself. That's harder.

Anyways.

Last weekend was very hectic.

My cousin, Azfar Mahdi wedded her bride, Liza on Sunday. But we, the clan started to converge at my parents' and 2 other houses late Friday night. There was the akad nikah do at the bride's house on Saturday and at night, the berinai ceremony siap dengan bertepung-tawar. There were fireworks too. We were bamboozled and suprised. We, the clan joked that my Mak Ndak needs to work out how to top these. We planned for the Red Arrows to fly next Sunday for the kenduri on the bridegroom's side. Heh! With live telecast, mind you. Ha ha ha!

The girls had tremendous fun with their cousins and uncles and aunties. Ariz got to play with his boy-peers and hang on to Firdaus, Faiz and Abg Boboi, Shahmi and Awan. The girls played sing-songy sip-sip-sip with the many girls around. They sure had a blast.

We slept over at my parents' to prolong the fun and I woke up to an aching back, sleeping on a thin mattress while the kids hogged the bed.

Anyways.

Tonight I think we must make the trip to find Aliya's burnished brown baju kurung for next Sunday's wedding. Adani & Ayisha are the designated flowergirls and I hope to pick up 6 flowergirl dresses by end of the week. Burnished brown attire for me and MrGart are ready which basically means my work sutera baju kurung that I've never work to family functions and his batil sutera shirt. Fooh! Jimat duit!

Well, gotta go.

p/s I know u miss me and i kniw this post is a bit lame but give me time to warm up.

Seems to be the mantra prescribed to us all in the face of inflation. Foodstuff has become items of luxuries these days. People are car-pooling and less cars are on the roads. The roads are friendlier these days as people drive in a manner that conserves every last drop of the expensive fuel.

When I do drive, which is rare after the June 8th petrol price hike, I am mindful that aggressive driving gets me 4% faster and burns 30% more of my precious fuel. Like I do aggressive driving ever la kan? But somehow with less people on the road, the keep-at-90kmh does get me to the office on time.

We no longer turn the air-con on in the living room whilst we relax and spend quality time with each other, asking every now and then, "did you switch the water heater off?", "Did you close the fridge properly"". We set the timers on the bedrooms' air cons to just 3 hours per night, waking up in sweats in our hot, humid tropical weather. MrGart has found himself unconciously shedding his shirt (just!) in the morning. Hmm. Screw, keep up with the somber mood here!

I've started to cook more meals for the family than lounging at the neighbourhood Tanjung or the new mamak place. We no longer can afford to go makan at the RahsiaRecipe or the MakJah or the poshy place at D'Pangkin too often. Maybe once a month, okayla.

At the Sunday Pasar Tani, I bought a betik at RM2.50/kg instead of my usual jambu merah which now costs RM7.00/kg. I bought a whole chicken at RM14.10 instead of 1 and a half chicken. I didn't get any meat cos I figured we just ration meat to just once every 2 weeks or 3 weeks. Good on the wallet, better on the cholesterol.

I'm now thinking to stop the girls' kumon classes and probably to either get Aliya & Asha for a private tuition, at-school tuition, tuition them myself or a hybrid solution. Adani can do without her Kumon, though she loves it. Maybe I'll start her at some reader class which will cost me less. This is still in the thinking stage.

But the point is, I'm thankful that in the face of hardship, we are still able to change our lifestyles. We can still find ways to cut costs without too much interruptions in our lifestyles. Sweaty or not, we can still live comfortably. I shudder when I think of other people who are already cash-strapped and have been berjimat-cermat all along. Where else can they cut corners?

Times have changed. Lifes getting harder and more challenging. I worry for the impending increase in crime rates as people get desperate. I hope it won't happen, but I shudder nevertheless.

p/s You see, I've gotten over the fact that our CEO/CFO gets 100% and we get a HEFTY 3% salary adjustment.

Last night.

Post-mortem on the girls' exam papers which they've started to receive from last week. It was Maths.

I was actually o-k when Ayisha scored 48% and Aliya at 58%. I bit my lips, actually. I was devastated. I was shattered. But I know they did their best.

Ran into a neighbour at the pasar tani in the morning and she rightfully pointed out that her son who's Ayisha's age did actually better this exam than the last test. I lamented that my girls did badly compared to the last test. She then comforted me that even her son's tuition teacher was saying that the questions were really tough. They actually were harder than most schools'. THAT, I did not know. It made me fell better, actually.

So, last night, we sat down and we went through the questions.

Aliya on my left, Ayisha on my right.

Aliya has done corrections in her paper. Ayisha hasn't. Today she said the teacher asked her to bring the paper in.

I closed the answer part to a question and asked both girls to solve 'em.

No. No. No.

Read Aliya, read the question. What is it asking you to do?

Ayisha, if you're not sure, start from 1 x 3=3 until you get to 21.

Aliya! I just told that 1 hour=60 minutes and 1 minute=60 seconds, so what's 3 hours in seconds ?

Ayisha! Why is 26-8=17?

Adani! Why la did you tip the pencil sharpener shavings all over the carpet? *distraction*

It was going all wrong that point onwards.

I started to go red in the face and then I slapped their hands.

Both obviously cried but couldn't run away until I excused them, That much they know. MrGart stayed away, helpfully.

I was really really very upset. More to Aliya than to Ayisha, actually. At least I know Ayisha genuinely is confused. Aliya is just not thinking hard enough. What made me go completely ballistic is the fact that Aliya has done her corrections in the SAME paper. She wrote the corrections herself and when I asked her to repeat the question, she still got it wrong.

This was a perfect example of how NOT to parent well. I yelled. I snapped. I hit them. I yelled again. I even threatened them.

I am ashamed of myself. Deeply. Even after, I've vowed not to do this, I still did it.

This morning, I said to Aliya that I was sorry for yelling at her, but she needs to work harder at her school work. Aliya, I think will think about this for a long time. Ayisha meanwhile, was all smiles today even when I talked to her.

I dunno. I'm almost desperate. I know it's just Math paper. 10 years from now, it wouldn't matter anyway. But I so want them to succeed, it hurts. The world is so cruel these days. The fittest survive and the weakest grapple to just stay afloat. I want them to be able to survive, I want them to make something of themselves.

People say parents like to turn their kids into themselves, or whatever they didn't have before. I'm not even thinking about that.

It's disheartening when I listen to friends whose kids scored 98 and fussed about getting the last 2 marks from the teacher. It's just crazy to think that kids that age could score 100 upon 100 upon 100. It's even crazier to think that these kids average around 98% or 95% or worse 99.8%. But they're real. And I want mine to close the gap. I want mine to have something they would hang on to and make something of themselves.

But then again. I know for a fact, what's wrong with me. It's all about me, me and me.

Sigh! Who says older kids are easier? Whoever says parenting gets easier at any point?

You've read the front page news.

Ministers are getting their entertainment allowances cut by 10%. Their PAID holidays are now confined to local or ASEAN destinations only.

Oh wow!

If I were them, I'd wept by now. No, I'd cried buckets. Such atrocity! Such devoted sacrifices made in the face of hardship.

Sheeesshh !

PUH-LEEEZE !

Hang on! I didn't know all this before. I didn't know I paid taxes so that they can go skiing in the Alps or eat scones and tea in those fanciful cafe at Covent Garden. I didn't know all that before.

So, when we're all been forced to berjimat-cermat, which we HAVE already done from the very beginning, the most they could do was cut the blinking entertainment allowance by 10%. 10 measly percent! WTF?

It shouldn't be there in the first place. Paid holidays? Don't they already get annual leaves? Why is it that I'm paying for their holidays too? Heck! No one pays for mine. I'm just thankful to be able to stay home using my 28 days annual leave to care for my feverish child.

You know. The strategy must have been that since the rakyat is been advised to berjimat-cermat, they, the minister must at least exhibit they ARE with us too. They too must demonstrate how this has pained them.

You think this is at par with the guy who's wife had to stop studying because they couldn't afford the petrol to commute to her uni? You think this is even comparable to the folks at the rumah panjang who have to pool RM400 thenm now about RM680 just to light their homes for a 2 hours a day? What about the low-income folks who will now fall into the poor status? What are they gonna live on ?

I'm vexed beyond belief. Justice, I seek.

In between Ariz/Ben Tennyson's transformation from HeatBlast to Four-Armed and Grey Matter, he head-butted me on my nose Monday night.

Moshi said something like "rasa macam bodoh seminit" and it certainly felt like it. The world kinda blurred for that one minute, really. By the time, I came out of that "period", I clutched my face and Ariz has turned into XLR8 instead. Sheessh!

Anyway, today, 2 days later, my right side of the nose is really sore. I can't squint, I can squish my nose, I can't even rub it. It's so painful.

Even MrGart was not sympathetic. He went on to show me his war scars from daily rough-up with Ariz. Yeah yeah yeah! Nyampah nya I ! In the meantime, I hope my already kembang hidung will not kembang any more than it already is.

Here they are, the favourite aliens in my household. Not to Aliya, Asha & Adani though. Ish!


DiamondHead

XLR8


Grey Matter


HeatBlast

Err .. or not. Not yet, that is.

I read about Elisa & Lollies wean stories and couldn't help but compare theirs to mine. After all, the boys are about the same age, hmm or maybe not. Ariz is in between Jack and Izani.

Anyways, I for one, have not been able to do so with Ariz who is 3 years and 4 months old. *I can hear you gasp, people!*

I think we mothers have it really rough. It's a challenge to get them to nurse and to get us mothers to persevere and once we've gotten to that 2 years period, then it's a challenge to get them off nursing too. The difference I think then, it's more physical, the weaning is more emotional, hence tougher. Regardless how tough we think we all are, matters of the heart can break any mother's heart.


Ariz, before he turns into HeatBlast

Like most mothers with their youngest suckling child, I find it terribly hard to think about weaning. I've always stuck to the principle that I will not wean a child off me, but the baby needs to decide that for her/himself when he's ready. And it worked with Ariz's older sisters who all weaned themselves off around 2 years of age. Alhamdulillah. But I cried buckets when they do, cos I wasn't ready. I'll never be, I guess.

Elisa, Lollies and most mothers tell the same stories about how hard it is to wean off a baby or a toddler or the biggest Ben10 fan. It's hard to let go of that you-are-my-everything look they dish out to you whenever they need to suckle. It's harder to live thinking that my baby's now all grown up and sporting an Omnitrix and fighting off aliens on board of Saphira, the dragon. It is hard. Very hard.

So, tell me girls, do you think Ariz will be ready some day? Will he wean himself off ? Or should I cold-turkey him? There is milk, I assure you that, so nutrition he is getting. But medically, is it still okay? I think it is, but I need someone to tell me.

Fooohh is it Monday already? Oh wow, oh wow!

Aliya had a hard time waking up and Ayisha & Adani, I had to physically piggyback them into the shower. Hope things are better later today. I think we all had a good break this term break. Lotsa trips away from home to faraway places too, with cousins they adore to bicker with.

Yesterday we were at my parents and there were altogether 13 cucu-s of Cikgu Samat & Cikgu Saayah in the house. Foohh! Ramai sungguh and they all get on with one another, at least for a short time before one comes crying with "Annissa tak nak kawan Adani", "Firdaus tunbuk Irfan" or "Arissa pijak tangan Ariz". Ish ish ish!

Anyway we had a feast yesterday cos my mother is accompanying my youngest sis, Eni, to Canberra, Oz-land for 2 weeks on a work-attachment. Eni's taking her only still-nursing son, Hadif along so Mak is the official baby sitter and cook and whatever else that comes inbetween. She's not complaining though. Ha ha! It's just that my father refused to go and now will be left in a house with my brother-in-law. Two grown men in a house by themselves. So, it's definilte men bonding time, at the warung outside. Needless to say, the kicthen ain't smoking for the next 2 weeks. Hence, the feast to clear the freezer.

Anyways. We stopped over at a kedai jual minyak yesterday to fill up the almost empty Wish's tank. And MrGart had a shock and had to stop at RM102.50 about 38 litres, when the tank's not even full yet. Dang! It's gone that far and that much. We shuddered just hinking about it.

Today, we wrote cheques for the Ad-Daris, Adani's kindy, Kum0n, van fares and I hope that next month we won't be writing bigger numbers. But I think for the school van operators, it won't be fair for them to absorb the additional costs but they should increase the fares just enough, and not too much.

Ah well! The signs of modern times then. We are rationing the electricity these days. I bought cheaper and less brand-er stuff for the house like the T-OP detergent for the front loader washing machines than my usual Pers1l.

Was talking to MrGart and it's realy scary when we, the so-called middle class society feel the pinch of the rising costs, what would the lower incomed society feel then? It's really very very scary to think how people would manage on a RM1500 salary with 5 school-going kids. I hope respite could come soon enough for those in need. Insyallah.


Adani at her school's sports day. ORANGE House was all dressed in butterfly costumes. Cute! Though her hair could do with some 'care'!

Today I woke up and the reality hits. Dang! Everything is expensive today.

Needless to mention, the panic to fill tanks up yesterday didn't give me the opportunity as the gas stations were so packed.

So, today we car-pooled, me and MrGart. There are plans to car-pool with colleagues later.

Sigh! Sighs of modern times eh?

A lazy lounge on the sofa, while watching Ben10 turns into HeatBlast.

BTW, he SOOOO loves the Ben10 it's driving me absolutely nuts!

Am back in the office today. Work is piling. Boss is screaming. But I am smiling.

Had the best 2 days break at Tiara BR, PD. Was there with Nobita's family. The kids had tremendous fun in the pools. They played well. They bickered even better. The room's pretty awful, actually but I guess for the water park, it compensated itself.

The week before that, we spent 3 days driving north-east bound to Kuala Trengganu and stayed overnight at Kota Bahru. Arrived really late for underestimating 'kejauhan' KT from KB. I thought the dua jari distance was managable, it turned out to be much farther. Ciss! The morning was spent at the pool. What else? A hotel trip to the kids revolves around the pool only. Then another hour in the bath tub.

We headed west to Penang, along the eerie Gerik, Jeli, Baling route, again underestimating how far it was. After the Teluk Banding stop around Maghrib, we continued driving in pitch black deserted highways with dense jungle at both sides.

I was once at Chenderoh for power station visits and went on boat trips at Kenyir Dam. They showed us the surau which was completely demolished by a pack of raging elephants. So, the 3 hours drive was very nerve-wrecking. I was more afraid of the wild elephants charging at us that any of the Jangan Pandang Belakang scenes. Eh, equally kot!

Anyway, we arrived safe and sound at Penang, crossed over in a ferry and fell asleep knackered. Us, adults la. The kids were splashing in the huge jacuzzi tub.

Stayed for 2 nights and then drove home to BJ.

I thought we had such great holidays this term break. Ohhh I have to mention the airshow and the TUDM open day last Sunday. That was so cool. Under the extremely hot sun and my err kewl shades, we ooh-ed and aah-ed over the manouvers by the Sukhoi and the Hornets and the MIGs. The thunderous sound felt even in your bones was just exhilarating especially when it flew just over your heads. So the very cooolll!

In the afternoon's scheduled airshow, we drive out to a vantage point near Adani's school to ogle again at the jets and all. I guess I have consented to my tax money being spent to buy those flying machines, if you could awe me every now and then.

But now work beckons. Sigh! I need a holiday!

I haven't been updating my blog in the longest time, hmm well about slightly more than a week.

I've not been able to. We've been workin round the clock (well, they have, I still sleep at night), working out this big deal we're on.

I can't wait for the 27th when this should all close out and a done deal. I've added a great, colourful new item in my portfolio but it certainly cost me an arm and a leg. And this long Wesak weekend too. Sigh!

And today, just when I thought we've cancelled working today, a public holiday, mind you, I had a phonecall summoning me to the War Room. Grrrr !!

Anyways. I should be back to my normal bloggy type soon, I hope. In the mean time, keep blogging, folks!

Kum-0-n.

I've decided "took and oath and stick it out till the end" ala Rihanna with respect to this. I've spent hours thinking about this and Aliya seems to be enjoying her daily worksheets. Ayisha, I decided to supplement her worksheets with maths in context particularly the number bonds and such. Insyallah, I hope.

Work.
If I'm not already in a break-neck speed the past 2 weeks, I sure am right now. I hope to get away after the 27th once things settled. Insyallah.

Aliya
Her long hair is getting too long and any talks about trimming has been brushed aside. MrGart has started worrying about her and boyfriends, even when she hasn't said anything at all. We've started getting phonecalls from girlfriends at all time of the day. Hmmm

Ayisha
She has lice in her hair as of last night and that freaked me out completely. I couldn't find the shampoo kutu at MidV tadi, and I think I must cari before they all shower tonight. Those cretins will die tonight!! Apart from that, we've been making good progress with her work. WIth exams on the 22nd, I'm praying for better results, this time around. I've cut down on the burnt fuses events, I think!

Adani
Tomorrow is her Sports Day at the SKBJ field. It's gonna be fun, fun and hot day. Did I tell you she gleefully cut her fringe early this week with a pair of scissors and I think the whole street heard me scream! Dang! There goes those beautiful, glossy hair! Grrrr!!

Ariz
Reminded me of Zan's Nael who figures out games on handphones much quicker than the owner of the phone. He has mastered the Sega Rally races and only calls for help, if he finds himself stuck in the snow of in a different direction. He thinks the portable TV aerial is a bow and an arrow, just like Eragon's. He's mastered his little bicycle and has not gone to nick Adani's bigger glittery, purple bike to go in circles at the park. I hope he learns to brake soon, rather than using his foot to stop. He is still ..hmmm.. nursing!

MrGart
Still is snoring. I bought a book titled My Daddy Snores which becomes Adani's favourite bedtime book. Ha ha! After 6 days of snoring like a truck, bee, train and kettle, Mummy turned into a sleepy monster, so after much sleeping in the dog's kennel, Hammie the Hamster's cage, Slippy the goldfish's bowl, Mummy dragged Daddy for him to sleep in a tent outside, which at the end woke up all the birds and they woke everybody up. Then Mummy brought Daddy to a hospital and the Doctor gave him medicines and he stops snoring. But he begins to start talking in his sleep.

Ha ha ha! Okay! Moral of the story. Can we go and get this severe snoring checked out? Please? Please? Can we have a petition for this? Do you think you can sign on this and make him go check this one out? Thanks heaps!

I had lunch with a couple of friends from the green-logo-company that we all buy the petrol from, yesterday and I had MoshJantan tagged along too. For lunch as he was hungry and to drive us there, in my car. A long, very fun lunch. Men have no qualms about click-ing with other men, no reservations whatsoever. Women need to think about it. Not me, though.

Anyways, we chatted and I said to him that I haven't been blog-hoppingly mad these days and was suprised to find that my frequently frequented blogs have less frequent new entries these days. He seemed to think otherwise, the only dwindling thing is the commenting. Hmm! That I have to agree.

These days, I find myself blog-hopping at home, using my faithful, scratched, squeaky nokia phone. That gets me updated on everyone's lives but it hinders me greatly from leaving comments. Excuses-mexcuses!

Well. Anyways.

Nagai, whom I've known since I was 15 and has kept in touch until now just g-chatted me before lunch to tell that he's tendering his resignation letter tomorrow after 7 long years with that company. A record, he exclaimed for himself. I sighed. My 11.62 years record has remained untouched and approaching a legacy.

I wasn't so shocked at him resigning cos I think he's destined for greater things elsewhere and he talked about leaving countless times before. I do too, but never actually pursue any of my leads. He's teased me about being such a whiner but with no courage to walk the talk. Aku sungguh kecil hati.

Anyways. What bamboozled me was olab's and OO's leaving their desks for fancier "desks". I was floored. I envy them. Aku sungguh jeles. Aku sungguh hijau dengan envi.

Wasn't it like yesterday when elisa announced that she's leaving her desk to follow the love of her life? Wasn't it yesterday I had Lollies in front of me, pained telling me she's leaving too? And then Famy left. And then OO left. OLAB followed suit. OMG!!

There's been a lot of messages in the ummikusayang group about SAHM vs working mom and it's just gotten a tad too much for me. They were talking serious stuff and I just switched off. But when one by one, my dear friends leave this rat race to pursue their dreams, it rattles me, it makes me stop and think. We're not the same. We're not even in the same boat, so OLAB tells me. But it still makes me wonder, why am I here when most have left. Have I done the right thing for me for the last 35 years? Can I suddenly veer elsewhere? Would I be happier? Would I be needier? I wish I could see the future, so I can make decisions consiously. But the future's not ours to see.

Ah well. I wish you all well. I'm fine, really. I do love this job but I know there's more to me that the job. This isn't the life I dreamed of, although it is mine at the moment and I'm making the best of it.

p/s I'm still divided over the pet issue. Anyone has sugar gliders?

I have kids. 4 of them, lovelies.

Not that many. Other have 8, 9 or even 10.

But my kids' mess are larger than those with 10 kids. Their books are everywhere. Pencils, pens, exercise books. Dolls, nekkid barbies, cars, lil strollers, sweets wrappers, lollies wrappers are everywhere. And I've not started talking about the hygiene stuff yet. When they do shower, after much coxing-turns-threathening, the dirty clothes are strewn everywhere. And in the evenings, they can get seriously masam, hair taped to the head with sweat and the kemuncup on the legs of their pants drive me mad.

But it's okay, really.

Because I'm a mother. And mothers have children, whom they adoringly love in sweet and stinky smells, whose butts they wash and whose hair they shampoo to reveal gloriously flyaway hair.

But now the kids, who are massive mess makers themselves want PETS!

Aliya is 9 and that makes 9 longs years of resisting pets in the house. We've had many many requests of pets. From cats, to hamsters, from sugar gliders, to turtles, from budgies to crocodiles,

But 3 favourite pets keep cropping up.

Puppies.

Wolves.

Cats.

Puppies, Adani's perenial favourite. Will need to convince her more on this.

Wolves. Thanks to the movie SnowDogs, everytime we walk into our neighbourhood's pet store, Ariz would be asking loudly, "Mana wolves? Iz nak wolves!" To which I would wink to the girl incharge and ask her if she has wolves and she'd be giggling away while shaking her head. We've done that 4 times, if you must know.

But I have succumbed to cats.

I saw Maine Coon cats at a catshow recently and immediately I was bowled over. I googled and searched and found breeders. But the costs floored me. So, maybe later, I guess.

Until Mia has that kitten who died and a 3 months old cat. Mia's mother told me how both Mia and her elder sister Amalina who's 13 by the way, no longer scratch each other's eyes out. The cat's been around for like 3 weeks and they've directed their energy towards the cat, instead of fighting each other.

Hmmm.

That's a thought. My girls and that little boisterous boy I have BICKER big time with each other. Pet theraphy is attractive. But I dunno if I can deal with taking care of a pet too. I dunno what kinds of a monster I'll turn into if I find cat's poo on my precious carpet.

So, what do you think?

p/s I've said yes to a neighbour's offer for her kittens due in about 3 months. 2 of them. And now I'm having second thoughts. Should I ?